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So This is Love . . .
Aug. 30th, 2004 11:01 pmI picked up a copy of I Kissed Dating Goodbye today (ok - y'all can stop laughing now!) And this time when I read it, I'm actually going to try and learn something from it, instead or reading it and thinking, "that's nice" and going back to my dating lifestyle.
Reading the first chapter, I was immediately hooked when Joshua Harris was talking about a relationship that he had in high school that ended after a missions trip had kept them apart for 2 months. Gee - talk about hitting home.
And from there, the first chapter made more and more sense. And I realized a few things:
I have always lived from one guy to the next. It doesn't matter if in those relationships I stayed "sexually pure" or not - regardless, I have allowed myself to live from one relationship to the next. I don't actually know the first thing about being pure in body and heart. I have never allowed myself to be in a relationship for the good of God - I've always managed to make it about me, and how a relationship can benefit me - and if it glorified God in the process - great! And I want that to change.
I want to live a life from now that it pure in body and heart. From this day on, I don't want to give away my kisses, or my "I love you's", or anything else tht I should hold dear to me on a guy that it's "the guy" - and I the only way to guarantee that is to actually kiss dating goodbye. I've lived my life believing that kisses don't mean much, and that "I love you's" don't matter much. I've forgotten how truly amazing a kiss should be, and how special the words "I love you" should be. I've allowed them to become common place things - and that isn't right. Kissing isn't something that I've ever felt convicted about - and I think that needs to change. No kissing till I'm married sounds like a radical concept - but maybe it's time for that in my life. As Joshua Harris writes, "I wanted to please Him in my relationships even if it meant looking radical and foolish to other people - even if it meant kissing dating goodbye."
I am truly at a point in my life where dating wouldn't be best for me. I'm past the age where "dating" happens because of a passing attraction. I'm to the age where I want to settle down and marry the right person - and that sort of relationship isn't going to be found in dating. Looking over my relationship past - Sam was dating, Derek was dating, Tudor was dating . . . and they were all disasters. Pat was courting . . . sort of . . . and it ended with a break-up, true - but it was successful . . . sort of . . . in the end. But in all of those relationships I was selfish in my pursuits - I was living for myself and my desires.
True love doesn't come in the form of passionate words or intimate embraces - instead it's an expression of self-control, patience, and words left unsaid. And as I begin a new chapter in my life - I realize that this is what I want for my own life. I want a life that stands out as radically different for Christ. I want a life that shows the world that I don't live by their standards, but rather by the standards of God.
I can't say that I have regrets about my relationship with Pat, because I don't - true, I wasn't of the "no kissing rule" camp, but I can't say that we did anything that I regret. Tudor . . . mmmm . . . I regret a lot of that relationship . . . but I can't dwell on regrets on non-regrets anymore. I can't justify kissing and whispering passionate words anymore - because I am all to aware how they can be said and not felt - and that's something that I don't want to go through again.
I'm not going to sit here and type up a list of things that a guy has to do to win my heart, but I know now that being best friends isn't enough, and that kisses and words should be saved till the wedding. And if that makes me a radical - so be it. I want to live a life that is drastically different from what the world has to offer, and this is the way that I feel led to do it.
My prayer for tonight: Lord God - give me strength to hold tight to my convictions. Help me to be a light for you in this dark world. Help me to shine your light at Chatham. Help me also to be radically changed by you. Change my mindset when it comes to dating. Help me to embrace the life that you want for me. Forgive me for the impurities of my past relationships both body and in heart. Guide me and show me how I am to live a life for you and not for myself. Teach me to glorify you in all I do and in the relationships and friendships that I pursue. help me to see others the way that you see them and not as potential dates. Help me to have the strength that I need as I begin the walk of kissing dating goodbye.
In your awesome name,
Amen.
Reading the first chapter, I was immediately hooked when Joshua Harris was talking about a relationship that he had in high school that ended after a missions trip had kept them apart for 2 months. Gee - talk about hitting home.
And from there, the first chapter made more and more sense. And I realized a few things:
I have always lived from one guy to the next. It doesn't matter if in those relationships I stayed "sexually pure" or not - regardless, I have allowed myself to live from one relationship to the next. I don't actually know the first thing about being pure in body and heart. I have never allowed myself to be in a relationship for the good of God - I've always managed to make it about me, and how a relationship can benefit me - and if it glorified God in the process - great! And I want that to change.
I want to live a life from now that it pure in body and heart. From this day on, I don't want to give away my kisses, or my "I love you's", or anything else tht I should hold dear to me on a guy that it's "the guy" - and I the only way to guarantee that is to actually kiss dating goodbye. I've lived my life believing that kisses don't mean much, and that "I love you's" don't matter much. I've forgotten how truly amazing a kiss should be, and how special the words "I love you" should be. I've allowed them to become common place things - and that isn't right. Kissing isn't something that I've ever felt convicted about - and I think that needs to change. No kissing till I'm married sounds like a radical concept - but maybe it's time for that in my life. As Joshua Harris writes, "I wanted to please Him in my relationships even if it meant looking radical and foolish to other people - even if it meant kissing dating goodbye."
I am truly at a point in my life where dating wouldn't be best for me. I'm past the age where "dating" happens because of a passing attraction. I'm to the age where I want to settle down and marry the right person - and that sort of relationship isn't going to be found in dating. Looking over my relationship past - Sam was dating, Derek was dating, Tudor was dating . . . and they were all disasters. Pat was courting . . . sort of . . . and it ended with a break-up, true - but it was successful . . . sort of . . . in the end. But in all of those relationships I was selfish in my pursuits - I was living for myself and my desires.
True love doesn't come in the form of passionate words or intimate embraces - instead it's an expression of self-control, patience, and words left unsaid. And as I begin a new chapter in my life - I realize that this is what I want for my own life. I want a life that stands out as radically different for Christ. I want a life that shows the world that I don't live by their standards, but rather by the standards of God.
I can't say that I have regrets about my relationship with Pat, because I don't - true, I wasn't of the "no kissing rule" camp, but I can't say that we did anything that I regret. Tudor . . . mmmm . . . I regret a lot of that relationship . . . but I can't dwell on regrets on non-regrets anymore. I can't justify kissing and whispering passionate words anymore - because I am all to aware how they can be said and not felt - and that's something that I don't want to go through again.
I'm not going to sit here and type up a list of things that a guy has to do to win my heart, but I know now that being best friends isn't enough, and that kisses and words should be saved till the wedding. And if that makes me a radical - so be it. I want to live a life that is drastically different from what the world has to offer, and this is the way that I feel led to do it.
My prayer for tonight: Lord God - give me strength to hold tight to my convictions. Help me to be a light for you in this dark world. Help me to shine your light at Chatham. Help me also to be radically changed by you. Change my mindset when it comes to dating. Help me to embrace the life that you want for me. Forgive me for the impurities of my past relationships both body and in heart. Guide me and show me how I am to live a life for you and not for myself. Teach me to glorify you in all I do and in the relationships and friendships that I pursue. help me to see others the way that you see them and not as potential dates. Help me to have the strength that I need as I begin the walk of kissing dating goodbye.
In your awesome name,
Amen.
