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notalwaysright_feed(A coworker approaches me out of the blue and sits on my desk. It should be noted that I’m very sarcastic and “pick on” a lot of my coworkers in good fun.) Coworker: You really don’t like me, do you? Me, leveling him with a blank stare: [Coworker]. Coworker: Yes? Me: I don’t like ANYONE. […]
notalwaysright_feedThere is a tiny local amusement park near my hometown. They occasionally host ‘town’ nights, where if you show ID from the town they are featuring you don’t have to pay admission. A friend of mine tags along with me, my parents, my sister and I on one of these nights. She doesn’t have her […]
notalwaysright_feedRead The Karma Queue Is Right Here, Ma’am
Mom: “Um, excuse me. There’s a line, and you cut me off.”
Woman: *Smugly* “No. I will not move. You were on your phone, which means you're not in line!”
notalwaysright_feed(I’m at the mall with someone who has been a friend since childhood. [Friend] had an accident several years ago, and was paralysed from the waist down. However, I pick on her and tease her just as much as I did before her accident; something she appreciates. We’re walking out of an electronics store, where […]
notalwaysright_feedDuring my last semester of college, I had two classes that required group projects, and both of these classes wanted us to use Adobe Slate instead of Powerpoint. Since I had never used Slate before, I taught myself how to use it at the beginning of the semester. When it came time for my groups […]
notalwaysright_feed(Years ago, when I was working at my first I.T. job, we had a somewhat ancient mainframe system that was prone to “going down”. If this happened, and you were in the middle of making some program changes, you’d lose your work. So, saving frequently was a good idea.) Me: Aw, crap … I think […]
notalwaysright_feed(My parents and I are at a restaurant. At some point I realize that the background music being played consists mainly of songs that I remember from the 80s.) Me: (singing along quietly) “I’m your Venus, I’m your fire, your desire.” (speaking normally) I just realized they’ve been playing songs from my generation. Mom: Isn’t […]
notalwaysright_feedRead Logo Uh-Oh
Agency: “Our new client has a gruesome logo. Could you try to come up with some other ideas? Just spitball ideas for an hour. If the client likes any of them, we’ll spend more time on this.”
Read Logo Uh-Oh
notalwaysright_feedMe: “Hey, [friend], do you know anything about [subject]? Friend: “What?” Me: “The subject that we are working on?” Friend: “What subject? Food? TV shows? Movies? SUBWAY?” Me: “No, the SCHOOL subject?” -facepalm- Friend: “We are not in school, though..” Me: “We are!” Teacher: “What are you two arguing about, now?” Friend: “She keeps thinking […]
notalwaysright_feedRead Lack Of Register Does Not Register, Part 24
Employee: "Sir, the checkout lanes are up front. I am just stocking groceries."
Customer: "Huh?"
Employee: "The registers are up front."
Customer: "Well I thought you were a customer. So… I have to go up front to check out?"
notalwaysright_feedRead This Lady Really Takes The… Well, Not The Cake, Anyway
The cashier scanned her two items, the lady paid, and I was just starting to get them back into her cart when an ear-splitting bellow shattered the relative peace of the entire front end.
Lady: “NOOO!”
notalwaysright_feedRead You Don’t Have To Sandwich Yourself In The Middle Of The Line To Get A Sandwich
We line up, and two other customers get behind us as we start the process. I'm second in line and as I get the meat on my sandwich, the rude man walks up. He plants himself in front of the veggies; right in the middle of the counter where you build your sandwich; and stares at the menu.
Read You Don’t Have To Sandwich Yourself In The Middle Of The Line To Get A Sandwich
notalwaysright_feedRead So Dum Sodium
Mom: "Is [name on the order] here? I have his food."
Nurse: "...no? None of the staff have that name."
My mom is confused for a second before an idea comes to her.
Read So Dum Sodium
notalwaysright_feedRead The Birthday Gift Of A Painful Lesson
Me: "Hi, it's your manager. Did you know you were scheduled to be here almost an hour ago?"
Sales Assistant: "Today's my birthday."
Me: "Oookay? That isn't answering my question."
notalwaysright_feedRead The Container Has Fallen Into The Sar-Chasm
Unfortunately, we always get customers who do not seem to understand this and insist on their container still being loaded even when it was delivered too late. The worst one I ever dealt with was a customer who insisted on his container being loaded on a ship that had already departed and was at sea heading to the next port.
notalwaysright_feedRead It Was Almost A Picture-Perfect Crime
Boss: "[Employee], we're here today to talk about work conduct. I want to ask what you think we should do in this situation."
Employee: "What situation?"
notalwaysright_feedRead The Meat Lover Is A Hater
Caller: "I want the meat-lover pizza, but could you, like, put vegan on the label?"
Me: "The label can only say what the pizza in the box is."
Caller: "Yeah but, you see, we have this annoying vegan friend and we want to play a trick."
notalwaysright_feedRead Her Employment Here Wasn’t Written In The Stars
We hired a new employee only for me to find her job hunting online as soon as I came to train her. She wasn’t even being subtle about it.
notalwaysright_feedRead Not Even Remotely Possible, Part 3
Corporate Manager: "I know the business better than anyone, I should be fine."
Me: "I don't doubt it, but customers are idiots. You need to be prepared for that."
Corporate Manager: "That's a horrible thing to say about our customers! They can't be idiots if they choose to get service with us!"
notalwaysright_feed - (no subject)notalwaysright_feed - (no subject)notalwaysright_feed - The Karma Queue Is Right Here, Ma’amnotalwaysright_feed - (no subject)notalwaysright_feed - (no subject)notalwaysright_feed - (no subject)notalwaysright_feed - (no subject)notalwaysright_feed - Logo Uh-Ohnotalwaysright_feed - (no subject)notalwaysright_feed - (no subject)notalwaysright_feed - Lack Of Register Does Not Register, Part 24notalwaysright_feed - This Lady Really Takes The… Well, Not The Cake, Anywaynotalwaysright_feed - You Don’t Have To Sandwich Yourself In The Middle Of The Line To Get A Sandwichnotalwaysright_feed - So Dum Sodiumnotalwaysright_feed - The Birthday Gift Of A Painful Lessonnotalwaysright_feed - The Container Has Fallen Into The Sar-Chasmnotalwaysright_feed - It Was Almost A Picture-Perfect Crimenotalwaysright_feed - The Meat Lover Is A Haternotalwaysright_feed - Her Employment Here Wasn’t Written In The Starsnotalwaysright_feed - Not Even Remotely Possible, Part 3![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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