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notalwaysright_feedRead Granola With An Abundance Of Moral Fiber
Customer: "Are you vegan?"
Me: "No, ma'am."
Customer: "Then I can't have you checking out my granola."
Me: "This granola is vegan, ma'am."
notalwaysright_feedRead A Berry Unfortunate Mix-Up
Patient: "My name is [garbled name]."
Coworker: "Um ... you said Dingleberry? Okay, what's your date of birth?"
Patient: "January 1st, 1970. Wait, what did you say my last name is?"
notalwaysright_feedRead When Nature Calls… Loudly… And In The Dining Room
Customer's Daughter: "Mom, I have to go to the bathroom! Mom!"
Mom doesn't seem to care, focusing instead on what she wants to eat. While staring at the menu, she said:
Customer: "Okay, okay."
notalwaysright_feedRead We Heard Of Fast Food, But This Is A New Level…
One typical Friday, we were tossing sandwiches to the drive-thru, unbeknownst to our manager, the drive-thru person had ducked away to look at something, and without looking, sort of absently chucked a turkey club over his shoulder.
notalwaysright_feedRead One Expects A Quiet Savagery From Such Institutions
Customer: "I want a discount."
Manager: "I'm afraid that won't be possible. Prices are set by the design house."
Customer: "This jacket is £2,500, and you expect me to pay full price?!"
Manager: "Yes, madam."
notalwaysright_feedRead Willfully Ignorant About Their Own Willful Ignorance
Me: "You might want to put him on the card-only register."
Supervisor: "Why? He's been trained on cash."
Me: "Yes, but he absolutely refuses to believe $2 bills are real. It doesn't matter how many times we've told him. The last time someone tried to pay using one and he called security."
notalwaysright_feedRead A Nasty Case Of Selective Hearingitis, Part 3
Me: "…Ma’am, I never said—"
Customer: "—It was in our conversation. You said you would."
Me: "No. I said I would check availability. Not order. Not reserve. Not request."
Customer: "Well, that’s not what I heard."
Me: "I know. That’s the problem. You only seem to hear what you want to hear."
notalwaysright_feedRead That’s A Lot Of Photo Finishes
Customer: "You will print some pictures of my grandson from my phone."
She isn't asking, she's telling.
Me: "I can set you up at one of our DIY stations and—"
Customer: "—no. I don't have time for that. I said you will do it."
notalwaysright_feed
Me: "Alright. So imagine you have your car but the gas tank is empty, okay?"
CEO: "Yeah?"
Me: "You can still sit in it, turn on the radio and listen to music, and turn the lights on, but you can't turn on the engine and drive it, yeah?"
notalwaysright_feedRead The Pram Scam
I come into work in my department store this afternoon and notice something unusual.
Me: *To my manager.* "Is it just me, or is there a lot of police presence outside each store exit?"
Manager: "It's not just you. We have some serial shoplifters in the store."
Read The Pram Scam
notalwaysright_feedRead Enough Entitlement To Fill A Swimming Pool
Me: "Ma'am, the pool is closed due to health reasons. I cannot allow you to enter the pool."
Guest: "What?! That's outrageous! The only reason we booked this hotel is so that the kids could use the pool!"
notalwaysright_feedRead No Cart Blanche
Attendant: "Hi! What are you doing?"
Me: "Checking out?"
Attendant: "Do you need two carts?"
Me: "Well, there isn’t enough room to keep all the bags there, and I don’t want to put things back in the cart while I’m still scanning."
Read No Cart Blanche
notalwaysright_feedRead Aisle Be Asleep for This One
I'm sitting in the parking lot when I see two customers both try to claim the same mobility scooter. I can't hear every word being spoken, but from what I can make out, this particular scooter is "the best one" and "I come shopping here at this time because it's always available."
notalwaysright_feedRead The Greatest Deal Of All Time(s)
Customer: “Can I still get the sale price on this jewelry?” Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but what sale price?” Customer: “You had a sale on jewelry a few weeks ago.” Me: “We had a summer sale. That’s the last one I recall.” Customer: “Yeah, that was it. The summer sale.” Me: “It’s December, ma’am.” Customer: […]
notalwaysright_feedRead Ink-redibly Bad Idea
Recently, her friend's mother has gotten a tattoo involving the mother's and daughter's first initials, and this is her latest pitch.
Thirteen-Year-Old: "Look at what Mrs. [Neighbor] got! It's so cool! You should get one like that!"
My older daughter interrupts.
Sixteen-Year-Old: "She can't do that."
Read Ink-redibly Bad Idea
notalwaysright_feedRead Refusing To Yield To Stupidity
Then, all of a sudden, three cars pull into my lane and start driving straight at me! I slammed on my brakes, pulled over as far as I could (there aren't very wide shoulders on the road here), and blared my horn because what the actual h***?
notalwaysright_feedRead You Can Flee The State But Not Stupidity
Me: "What brings you all the way to Iowa?"
Customer: "I’m on the run from the law."
I laugh at the joke, finish the transaction, and they leave.
notalwaysright_feedMy parents told me this story. A friend of theirs had tickets for their whole family to go see a football game at [College]. However, their teenage son was a staunch [Rival College] fan, and since the two colleges were playing against each other, he decided it was a great idea to dress himself head […]
notalwaysright_feedI’m pulling into my teacher job at o’dark thirty and it’s still dark. There is a front parking lot for visitors, a lane in front of the school for carpool, and on the side, a small parking lot for staff (think cafeteria workers who arrive quite early and need quick and direct access) with a […]
notalwaysright_feedI am at a bonfire with a couple of my friends. I start roasting marshmallows with one of them. A bit of background for this story: I am a redhead and a major cat person, my friend likes to spontaneously spout melodramatic sayings, and both of us are Christians. We are discussing how toasted we […]
notalwaysright_feed - Granola With An Abundance Of Moral Fibernotalwaysright_feed - A Berry Unfortunate Mix-Upnotalwaysright_feed - When Nature Calls… Loudly… And In The Dining Roomnotalwaysright_feed - We Heard Of Fast Food, But This Is A New Level…notalwaysright_feed - One Expects A Quiet Savagery From Such Institutionsnotalwaysright_feed - Willfully Ignorant About Their Own Willful Ignorancenotalwaysright_feed - A Nasty Case Of Selective Hearingitis, Part 3notalwaysright_feed - That’s A Lot Of Photo Finishesnotalwaysright_feed - A Boss-Level Metaphornotalwaysright_feed - The Pram Scamnotalwaysright_feed - Enough Entitlement To Fill A Swimming Poolnotalwaysright_feed - No Cart Blanchenotalwaysright_feed - Aisle Be Asleep for This Onenotalwaysright_feed - The Greatest Deal Of All Time(s)notalwaysright_feed - Ink-redibly Bad Ideanotalwaysright_feed - Refusing To Yield To Stupiditynotalwaysright_feed - You Can Flee The State But Not Stupiditynotalwaysright_feed - (no subject)notalwaysright_feed - (no subject)notalwaysright_feed - (no subject)![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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