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notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-12-14 12:00 am
Read Your Monkeys, Your Circus
She took the toys from the children and handed them to me. The children started crying.
Mom: "Sorry, girls, but the cashier lady says you can't have this."
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-12-13 08:00 pmRead The Dollar Menu
Customer: "Australia and New Zealand both use dollars! I looked it up!"
Stall Holder: "New Zealand dollars, and Australian dollars, sir. It's our own dollars, not US dollars."
Customer: "The US dollar is the only dollar, so you have to accept it if your country accepts dollars!"
Read The Dollar Menu
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-12-13 06:55 pmRead Charity Begins Somewhere… But Not Here
Coworker: "Oh, come on! It’s just a dollar. Don’t you care about kids learning to read?"
Customer: "I care very much. I donate plenty to charities."
Coworker: "Then one more dollar shouldn’t be a big deal, right?"
Customer: "It is when that dollar ends up being part of a corporation’s tax write-off so your bosses can all pat themselves on the back."
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-12-13 06:45 pmRead Main Character Fantasy 14
A few months ago, we had a guy come in just before the start of lunch rush and begin his order while it was still slow. After completing it, he began to order another sandwich, then another, then another. The line was beginning to form.
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-12-13 06:00 pmRead A Return Full Of Red… Flags
I work in a clothing store at a local mall in college. A woman brought in a recently purchased pack of panties.
Customer: "I need to return these."
Before I can even begin to explain that we don't accept returns on intimates, she pulls them all out of the bag and lays them out on the register.
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-12-13 04:00 pmRead Pump Fiction
Truck Driver: "Why aren't you pumping my gas right now?!"
Me: "Dude, this is my car."
Truck Driver: "Okay, but you work here, so stop being lazy and pump my f****** gas!"
Read Pump Fiction
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-12-13 03:30 pmRead Dessert Or Meltdown
Mom: "Dad, how can you even think about ice cream after all that food!"
Grandpa: "There's always, always, ALWAYS room for ice cream. See. It melts so it fits in between the cracks!"
Read Dessert Or Meltdown
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-12-13 02:30 pmRead Birds, Bees, And BS
One day, a chap, aged in his fifties, who was watching the bees flying around, decided to enlighten me about something.
Man: "I’ll bet you never get women standing here. You know, women are genetically predisposed to throw themselves to the ground when things fly over them."
Read Birds, Bees, And BS
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-12-13 02:00 pmRead We Only Serve Food, Not Hate
Me: "I don’t appreciate racism. You can cash out with your server, and you’re not welcome back."
She looks at me like I've just spat in her face.
Customer: "…"
Me: "Have a good day."
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-12-13 01:45 pmI’m a self-checkout attendant in a grocery store. One day we have a horrible combination of factors—we’re understaffed, a massive heat wave has just started, and we have a much higher than average volume of customers. Everyone is hot, sticky, cranky, and impatient. Somehow, by some miracle, my manager is able to send me on […]
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-12-13 01:30 pmRead When Cheering Reaches Critical Mass
My Grandpa is a retired physics professor, and he was quite good at it, too. One of his favorite complaints that he got on the physics book he published was "Physics is supposed to be hard, and he's making it too easy!"
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-12-13 12:45 pmI’m going in for what the doctors would call “routine surgery” but what I would call “panic central.” A little context: my partner and I are notorious for making weird noises at each other. My partner> So, how are you feeling right now? Me, in a very high-pitched, nasal voice> EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! My partner> …well, to […]
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-12-13 12:00 pmnotalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-12-13 11:00 amWhen I was a student midwife working on delivery suite when my mentor and I received a lady who had been transferred from the antenatal ward in labour having been induced 10 days post term (standard in my particular area). She had been contracting for around 36 hours on and off and had been sent […]
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-12-13 10:00 amI wrote [this story https://notalwaysright.com/uh-can-i-interest-anyone-in-a-corn-dog-while-they-read-this/287499/] and it seems like it received quite a lot of attention, so I will now talk about my worst flatmate experience in terms of tidyness. They were a boy and a girl, both international students, both Political Science students, the boy had a good grasp of Italian and the girl […]
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-12-13 09:00 amI was a member of our church and another 40-year-old member told my 18-year-old daughter that her husband struggles with p**n and he comes to church to “get away from that.” She wanted my daughter to wear something else, claiming that her (perfectly reasonable attire) wasn’t appropriate. The man wasn’t just married; he also had […]
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-12-13 04:00 am
Customer: "Oh no! He's been kidnapped, hasn't he!"
Manager: "Ma'am, can I confirm, he's five years old?"
Customer: "Yes!"
Manager: "Forgive me for asking, but does he like Pokémon?"
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-12-13 02:00 amRead Granola With An Abundance Of Moral Fiber
Customer: "Are you vegan?"
Me: "No, ma'am."
Customer: "Then I can't have you checking out my granola."
Me: "This granola is vegan, ma'am."
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-12-13 01:00 amRead A Berry Unfortunate Mix-Up
Patient: "My name is [garbled name]."
Coworker: "Um ... you said Dingleberry? Okay, what's your date of birth?"
Patient: "January 1st, 1970. Wait, what did you say my last name is?"
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-12-13 12:00 amRead When Nature Calls… Loudly… And In The Dining Room
Customer's Daughter: "Mom, I have to go to the bathroom! Mom!"
Mom doesn't seem to care, focusing instead on what she wants to eat. While staring at the menu, she said:
Customer: "Okay, okay."