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notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-09-23 03:00 am
Read Susan Is Just Having A Gay Ol’ Time
Two women are checking out with me. I have a single blue highlight streak in my hair.
Customer #1: *Noticing the streak.* "Oh, dear. You're one of those lesbians, are you?"
Me: "Uh, that's none of your business."
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-09-23 01:00 amRead Crabby About Keeping Count
Customer: "I want 10lbs of crab legs."
I scoop up two 5lb bags for her.
Customer: "Those are two bags."
Me: "Yes, ma’am. I can only fit 5lbs into each bag."
Customer: "Then I’m getting charged more?!"
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-09-23 12:00 amRead Plumbing The Depths Until You Find Honesty
Me: "I'm sorry, but your quote is unacceptable. You sell the exact same device on your website for a third of the price. Your guy misinformed me of the dimensions of the devices, in order to push one that he preferred for some reason (probably because nobody wants them, and you can't get rid of your stock)."
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-09-22 11:00 pm
Customer: "I need to block a number."
Me: "Of course. If you hand me your phone, I can show you how to do that."
Customer: "No, no, not my phone. There’s another line under my name. 'A' uses it. I want to stop 'B' from calling or texting 'A'."
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-09-22 10:00 pmRead The Steak May Be Rare, But Finding Servers Is Rarer
Me: "We asked for our bill fifteen minutes ago. Could you please let our server know?"
Other Waitress: "I will."
She went off to presumably relay the message.
Another fifteen minutes passed.
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-09-22 09:00 pmRead You Have No ID-ea How Little Better I Have To Do!
A teenage-looking couple comes up to my register. The girl puts two sodas down, pays, and starts walking toward the door.
Boy: "A pack of [cigarettes]."
I don’t even blink.
Me: "ID, please. And hers, too, since you’re together."
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-09-22 08:00 pmRead Multitasking Like A Multiple-Limbed Mutant!
My coworker sitting next to me has just received another pile of tasks sent to his in-tray.
Coworker: "Seriously?! I need to do these too?! I'm not an octopus; I don't have twelve arms!"
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-09-22 07:00 pmRead Making Fractionally More Money From Fractionally More Stupid People
Customer: "Why are your ⅓ and ¼ pound burgers the same price?"
Owner: "Putting them at the same price doubled my sales of the ¼ pound because people can't do fractions and they think they're getting a bargain."
Read Making Fractionally More Money From Fractionally More Stupid People
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-09-22 05:55 pmRead One Leave Denied Unlocks Another
My vacation leave credits expire next month, so I requested five days off, hoping to go home to my family and get some rest. Only one of them got approved, and it’s in the middle of the week. Reason: we’re short-staffed, as usual.
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-09-22 05:45 pmRead A Placebo So Strong You Need To Take A Seat
Customer: “I want this color instead of this color."
Me: “Ma'am, I believe they’re the same color."
Customer: "They are not! This one is too dark! I want a lighter one! Isn’t there anything in the back?!"
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-09-22 05:00 pmRead Meltdowns At Self-Checkout
Customer: *Yelling.* "I paid for my ice! Where is it?!"
I walk over and check for myself. The freezer’s empty.
Me: "Unfortunately, we’re out here. There might be some in the other freezer by the far entrance. Do you want to check there?"
Customer: "I don’t wanna walk all the way across the store. You go."
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-09-22 04:00 pm
You know how you're so used to following your RetailScript™ and get into the habit of saying the same thing over and over again that when a customer says something you aren't expecting, your brain just can't compute?
I had a guy today who, as I handed him his receipt, beat me to saying:
Customer: "Have a good day!"
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-09-22 03:00 pmRead Has No BOGO Mojo
Me: "These are buy two, get one free."
Customer: "I know, that's why I'm getting two!"
Me: "Okay… so, if you grab a third one, that one will be free."
Customer: "No, that’s not how it works. I’m buying these two right here, and that means one of them is free."
Read Has No BOGO Mojo
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-09-22 02:30 pmRead When You Thought It Was The Terrible Number Twos
My husband and I are at his parents' house for a long family lunch. His younger brother has brought a date, and things are going well… until Mom starts in on the embarrassing childhood stories.
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-09-22 01:30 pm
Some friends and I are chilling with another friend in his backyard on a sunny weekend afternoon. His dad is listening to his music in the living room, and we're listening to ours. An Eminem track starts playing.
Friend's Dad: *Appearing out of nowhere.* "I don't ever want to hear that Eminem's music in my house! He is a very foul musician!"
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-09-22 01:00 pmRead We Recommend You Do Not Continuum This Line Of Reasoning
Customer: "No, I had one here. Ten years ago!"
That’s impossible.
Me: "Sir, ten years ago this store didn’t even exist."
Customer: *He bristles, voice rising.* "Well… maybe it was five years ago."
Read We Recommend You Do Not Continuum This Line Of Reasoning
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-09-22 12:45 pmnotalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-09-22 12:30 pmRead Hex Education
Coworker: "Yes, I understand there was bullying, but we have processes for these kinds of things. Your mother creating – and I'm reading from the complaints here – your mother creating voodoo dolls of the alleged bullies and parading them outside the school is not one of our formalised processes."
Read Hex Education
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-09-22 12:00 pmRead You Won’t Find THAT On Duolingo
Daughter-In-Law: "So, she found a can of pepper spray..."
Mother: *Rapid screaming in a foreign language.*
Daughter-In-Law: "...and I think the thought it was hair spray?"
Mother: *More screaming.*
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-09-22 11:45 amI work in the ASIC branch of a Superannuation* Accounting Firm. * (Australian Pension)* ASIC is, in essence, Australia’s version of the FCA (for UK) or PCAOB (USA); we ensure the Registration and Regulatory Fees of the Investment Companies within our care are all up to date and paid for; it’s all naturally a little […]